“Never scold a child during these five tender times.”
🌱 1. When the child is hungry
- Reason: Hunger affects mood, focus, and emotional control. A hungry child’s brain is in “survival mode,” not ready to learn or listen.
- Impact of scolding: It can make the child feel neglected and misunderstood, increasing irritability and emotional outbursts.
- What to do instead: Offer food or a snack first, and address behavior calmly afterward.
💤 2. When the child is sleepy or tired
- Reason: Fatigue weakens emotional regulation; even adults get cranky when overtired.
- Impact of scolding: The child may cry or shut down instead of understanding what they did wrong.
- What to do instead: Allow rest, then talk later when the child is alert and calm.
😢 3. When the child is sad or emotionally upset
- Reason: In emotional distress, the brain is in a reactive, defensive state. Scolding deepens shame and confusion.
- Impact of scolding: The child feels unloved or unsafe sharing emotions in the future.
- What to do instead: Comfort first (“I can see you’re upset”), then discuss behavior after emotions settle.
😡 4. When the child is angry or having a meltdown
- Reason: During anger, logical thinking is blocked. Scolding only escalates conflict.
- Impact of scolding: The child learns to fear expression or mirror aggression.
- What to do instead: Stay calm, give space or soothing presence, and talk later when they’ve cooled down.
💭 5. When the child has just made a mistake or failed at something
- Reason: The child is already feeling shame or guilt internally. Scolding piles on humiliation instead of teaching.
- Impact of scolding: It reduces confidence and fear of trying again.
- What to do instead: Encourage effort, guide them to learn from the mistake, and praise attempts to improve.
